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A recent conversation that I had with a “gentleman” of my acquaintance raised a question in my mind. Well actually it raised a multitude of questions in my mind, but the relevant one for this blog is how early do you introduce sex into the romantic dynamic in your writing?
My theory of life (and novels) is that everything is about the balance of tension and release. The trick to a good novel is to keep the tension at that magic place that’s on the edge between frustration and anticipation. And then hold it there. Through various machinations, whatever your plot is. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that each conflict leads into another, never letting tension drop even if tension on one issue drops. There can be calms during the storm but it’s my belief that a fast-paced, riveting story comes from proper maintenance of tension.
In a romance that generally means a hold off to the introduction of sex. (Not sexual tension, which should be there.) But sex. There are exceptions. I have some stories where the sex happens early and the tension isn’t so much sex as it is being in a relationship. Showing emotions was their sex. Also the related issues of who controls the sex or what kind of sex you’re having can become it’s own tension. But most of the time the story lends itself to putting sex later in the story line.
Is there a perfect formula for which page it should happen on? The answer is, in my opinion, no. There is no magic line before which it is verboten and after which it’s blasé.
What do you think? Is there a magical zone in a novel that lends itself to the perfect time to introduce sex? Can you wait too long? Go too soon? How do you deal with it in your own writing?
LOL. I grew up in a conservative home and so my answer to this would probably be “after marriage.”
I have a favorite series, placed in a Victorian setting, where the female character was naiive about the wedding night and it created a really fun conflict because the hero is a gentleman, but also madly in love with her. His frustration really makes the series enjoyable, more so than if they’d just gone for it.
I too grew up in a conservative household and that is certainly the party line. I’m of the opinion that do whatever you want, as long as it’s your choice and not trying to either fit in with current culture or live up to familial expectations. Having said that I would say closer to that line than after ten minutes of meeting. There has to be a happy medium, right?
That series sounds AWESOME! And not that far fetched, actually, in a society like that. I watched this History Channel documentary on the History of Sex (and I’m assuming this is accurate) and there was this couple who got hitched and because his only experience with seeing naked women was classical Greek statuary when he saw that his new bride had pubic hair he was so confused/horrified/turned off he just chose not to consummate the wedding. (I tend to read this as he was gay, but that wasn’t the narrative in the story). And the part that I found hilarious was that the wife didn’t notice anything was amiss because didn’t know what should happen. It went on for YEARS until her family was like why haven’t you had a baby? At which point she figured it out and got the marriage annulled.
And I think you’re right. The fun is the frustration. Instant gratification is not good, at least in literature and I would argue in life as well. So yeah, I would love that series. I tend to wait until the very last minute to get my characters together. Thanks for the comment
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